Year of the Dumpster Fire

2020, the year of the dumpster fire. Sounds about right, eh?

This was THE year. MY year, OUR year. 2020 was suppose to be the big one. But alas, the universe had different plans and here we are...3 seasons into the worst year since the Great Depression. If being in a worldwide pandemic wasn't bad enough, one side of the continent has been on fire for half the year and the other is fending off weekly hurricanes. This is NOT my year, it's not your year.. it's no one's year. Even mother nature can't seem to figure herself out. It's funny how we spend most of our time trying to "plan"our lives only to realize that at the end of the day, we have little to no control. Literally none. You can build a house next to a fire station, but that doesn't mean it won't burn to the ground. If 2020 has taught me one thing, it's to expect the unexpected. Just because I plan something, wishing and willing it to happen, doesn't mean it will. I've had to let go of things I can't change and learn to go with the flow. And my goodness, it hasn't been easy. Honestly at this point if dinosaurs started roaming the earth, I wouldn't be surprised. I'm actually ready for it. Jurassic Park 2020 where you at? Give me Chris Pratt on a dirt-bike and I'd give up nursing to chase dinosaurs any day.

Letting go of things we can't change is hard. Really hard. And it would appear 2020 is full of circumstances that continually force us to try and learn how to do that. For those of you who don't know, Brad and I made the decision to postpone our wedding earlier this year due to the pandemic. Being an ICU nurse and working with COVID on a daily basis, it wasn't safe for my parents to host a backyard wedding full of hot zone nurses when so much about the virus was still unknown. Leading up to our "what would have been" big day, I was angry. Better yet, I was furious. Many cupcakes were consumed (thank you Crave) while angry tears were shed. I hate when my plans don't work out and I struggled coming to terms with that. But, where there is darkness, there is light. Fortunately for me, I used that anger to fuel my drive to continue travel nursing regardless of the hoops I'd have to jump through to get back to the States. I was learning to "let go" and I felt I was mastering it.

Mid July I got the call. I had an interview with a hospital in Anchorage and secured a contract. I was stoked. Alaska was the last big state on my bucket list and I had done it- I was going. I couldn't wait, or could I?

I realize how utterly fortunate I am to be able to travel nurse during a pandemic. I realize the privilege that comes with this during a time where finances are tight and the economy is tanking. I'm thankful to be here and have the ability to travel while doing what I love during such a precarious time. As a Canadian coming into the US, I took a risk leaving not only Brad and my family behind, but also our health care system. Do you know how lucky Canadians are to have the healthcare system we have? We are so lucky. I can't stress this enough after being on the other side. With going to Alaska, I knew once I crossed the border I would be on my own- no familiarity coming with me. No safety net. But in true Kelsey fashion, my drive for adventure far outweighed the fear of leaving the comforts of home, even if it would be 14 weeks before I was back.

In the midst of chasing after my travel nursing dreams and driving up here, I had stopped planning ahead and had no expectations. My plan to just "go with it" during such a weird time in the world was working and I was doing great. Unfortunately, there was one thing I didn't plan for that I really should have. Once I got to Alaska, I didn't plan to actually leave my safety net behind... not for the full amount of time at least. The borders couldn't actually stay closed all fall, that would be ridiculous, right? Pretty sure I've just had the biggest blonde moment of my life. I had factored in that I MIGHT be spending 14 weeks without seeing family or friends, but I didn't actually believe it would happen. Guess I get to learn this lesson the hard way, as I'm neither the Health Minister of Canada or JT, and I can't open the borders. As much as I've willed them to do so. So, here I sit, going on week 9, with no visit from Brad, no visit from family or friends and the potential for any future visits astoundingly low. So, as much as I preached earlier that I've learned to "let go" and go with the flow of 2020... it would appear I haven't learned a thing.

And again, Dumpster fire 1, Kelsey 0.

Thanks for reading,

xx Kels